I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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