You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
