Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize