i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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