Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize