No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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