Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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