am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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