So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
