Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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