just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize