And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
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This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
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He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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