Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
