Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
