They should really pass out barf bags in church
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
