Texts From Last Night

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  (510): View more from California

  I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series

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  (510): I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series http://tfl.nu/wka4
  Replies (95) Good night (1071) Bad night (3547)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers

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  (651): we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers http://tfl.nu/z5gf
  Replies (43) Good night (6470) Bad night (680)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.

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  (647): She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters. http://tfl.nu/h38s
  Replies (23) Good night (2869) Bad night (1731)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.

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  (712): I just negotiated a blow job for an interview. http://tfl.nu/ow0d
  Replies (15) Good night (3733) Bad night (1249)
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  (347): View more from New York

  Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???

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  (347): Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord??? http://tfl.nu/3v54
  Replies (15) Good night (2491) Bad night (1033)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.

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  (601): And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob. http://tfl.nu/lvxa
  Replies (8) Good night (2481) Bad night (824)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade

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  (678): i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade http://tfl.nu/l2g0
  Replies (10) Good night (1924) Bad night (699)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.

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  (630): Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver. http://tfl.nu/1ykf
  Replies (2) Good night (1781) Bad night (552)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.

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  (804): Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience. http://tfl.nu/3o6t
  Replies (7) Good night (619) Bad night (1474)
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  (714): View more from California

  you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"

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  (714): you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle" http://tfl.nu/ec60
  Replies (4) Good night (1871) Bad night (499)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...

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  (315): Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper... http://tfl.nu/s6hc
  Replies (6) Good night (469) Bad night (937)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!

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  (989): We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right! http://tfl.nu/l472
  Replies (4) Good night (1521) Bad night (384)
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  (619): View more from California

  Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done

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  (619): Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done http://tfl.nu/oq1m
  Replies (2) Good night (787) Bad night (328)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet

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  (605): You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet http://tfl.nu/kwah
  Replies (4) Good night (923) Bad night (264)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush

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  (508): He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush http://tfl.nu/vzo2
  Replies (0) Good night (311) Bad night (155)

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