Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?

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  (586): Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low? http://tfl.nu/jj2a
  Replies (32) Good night (1204) Bad night (2719)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend

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  (515): If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend http://tfl.nu/8ovo
  Replies (37) Good night (673) Bad night (3136)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?

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  (713): S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B? http://tfl.nu/ysr8
  Replies (131) Good night (737) Bad night (8186)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight

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  (770): just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight http://tfl.nu/b8vr
  Replies (38) Good night (4533) Bad night (1472)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.

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  (812): Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was. http://tfl.nu/nuhx
  Replies (28) Good night (8664) Bad night (773)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar

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  (508): Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar http://tfl.nu/vekl
  Replies (13) Good night (4048) Bad night (1009)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!

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  (336): That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on! http://tfl.nu/2bv6
  Replies (10) Good night (3552) Bad night (977)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?

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  (231): who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets? http://tfl.nu/3xr9
  Replies (5) Good night (1787) Bad night (1068)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.

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  (702): The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever. http://tfl.nu/lrkg
  Replies (7) Good night (2199) Bad night (487)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver

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  (208): Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver http://tfl.nu/xi4h
  Replies (7) Good night (951) Bad night (440)
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  (530): View more from California

  Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.

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  (530): Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important. http://tfl.nu/xc0u
  Replies (7) Good night (1623) Bad night (372)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere

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  (910): She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere http://tfl.nu/frtj
  Replies (8) Good night (1576) Bad night (462)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed

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  (613): So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed http://tfl.nu/pqem
  Replies (2) Good night (744) Bad night (259)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.

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  (407): I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect. http://tfl.nu/ydf2
  Replies (0) Good night (539) Bad night (271)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to

  (702): View more from Nevada

  It's true

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  (509): you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to (702): It's true http://tfl.nu/0sa6
  Replies (2) Good night (514) Bad night (209)

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