did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
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On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
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In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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