All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
