Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Randomize
