On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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