Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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