I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
