Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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