I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
