you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
