I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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