woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
My vagina is very pro this idea
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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