I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize