I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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