oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
