dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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