Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I just gift wrapped bread.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
