My room smells like vodka and shame
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
from now on my penis is your penis
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Im just a social blackout drinker.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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