also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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