And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
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Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
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Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
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