We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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