We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
