ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
