I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
