Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
