I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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