Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
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I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
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Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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