I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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