Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
