Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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