I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
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Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
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This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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