i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
