just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
We need to get me chipped asap
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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