please come you make the beer taste better
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
