Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i think i have herpe
just one?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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