and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
