If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Randomize
