My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize