He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
