you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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