we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
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We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
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I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
How naked do you want me to be?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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