Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
