Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Randomize
