I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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