kristin has been a bad kristin
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Randomize
