dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
