That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
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