Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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