she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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