do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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