My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
love makes seman taste better
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
