I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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