Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
